Grady Sizemore goes all Vanessa Hudgens on usChristmas has come early for many many women in the Cleveland area.
Honestly... Yesterday I saw a link on twitter about this and I assumed, yeah whatever it's spam. Cause I get all sorts of spam via twitter.
But today, when I'm actually reading sites about this.
Grady Sizemore... Scandal.. GASP!
Here's the downer for all those females. They probably don't know how to operate around sites like Deadspin so they can't see Grady in all his glory.
Second.. He's got a girlfriend!!!!!
Sorry ladies, he's taken... For now.
Considering it was her computer that his Hudgen's moment was stolen from, that status may be in jeopardy.
I'm talking very vague right now am I?
Pictures of Grady Sizemore, buck naked, were leaked onto the internets.
It wasn't until I read this on the PD website this morning that I realized, holy crap, that tweet yesterday wasn't fake spam.
I laugh, immediately.
Initially I thought, ewww.. I'm a guy.
After that, I thought, holy crap, this is gold.
First off, it's not like he committed a crime or anything. Or had an affair.. Or crashed his cadillac into a fire hydrant down his street going less than 33 mph at 2:00 in the morning after Thanksgiving.
And won't tell anyone why.
And... Yeah Tiger, just come out bro, it will go quickly.
But yeah, what did he do? Take some nudie pics and shipped them off to his girlfriend?
This is mild, but it's some publicity for this star's biggest face.
What happened to that Hudgens chick after those pics leaked out? EVERYONE KNEW HER NAME!
So the next time Grady Sizemore's name comes up, oh who is he?
Cleveland Indians centerfielder?
Yeah, damn good one.
Also the guy that snapped pictures of his dong behind a tall beer glass. Or did he? I'm not sure what actually went on, like I said, I didn't really study these pictures.
Look if you want to go look at the pics, go for it. I found censored versions of them just to see what he did. I don't need to see the goods he's sporting. I'm sure you can find the uncensored version somewhere.
I know this seems like a rather odd point of view.
I'm sort of sorry for Grady that his private property was stolen and released publicly, but he should realize that A) He's a superstar and according to most females around, a very cute one. B) E-MAILING stuff to your girlfriend is just asking for some hacking loser to break in and steal your shizzle.
But this will no doubt help his Q-rating or whatever that is.. Maybe I'm wrong, I have no idea what a Q-rating is or what it does (I could look it up, but nah), but I do know this team needs some popularity and Grady Sizemore is our best bet.
And if he wants to get caught with some pictures where he's showing the goods..
I'm not going to complain. I certainly won't look at him in all his glory without lovely black boxes in place of the unmentionables, but I will say this is freakin awesome!
Really are you going to think any different of Grady Sizemore? No, you won't. He's a good kid, plays hard, and in his downtime he sends naked pictures to his girlfriend. Perfectly fine with me. I wouldn't do that, but I'm not the desire of many many female Cleveland Indian fans.......yet.
Okay probably never.
The Indians however issued a statement and Mark Shapiro said "I have no seen these pictures, but will look into it."
No Mark.. Do not look into it. You will never be able to look Grady in the eyes again and speak to him without thinking about his stuff. Seriously man. Fans can look all they want, but you gotta talk to the guy. You wanna be thinking about his birthday suit while you are staring him dead in the eye trying to negotiate his next contract?
And now let me get back to the point.
THIS SITE.. Tell me that his girlfriend is Playboy playmate Brittany Binger.. Really Grady? A playboy bunny?
I expected better from him.. I don't think any less of him because of the pictures, but I do because he's dating a playmate.. Seriously.. I thought he was less superficial but hey.
Anyway that site also says that Binger possibly released the photos, rather than her e-mail got hacked. Which is really possible when it comes down to it for the simple fact that none of us have ever heard of this chick before, so who knows how crazy she is.
Oh and I apologize before hand. It appears that females are not the only ones that are interested in this.
I'm afraid to click on their link because I'm afraid I'll get the uncensored version of these photographs.. But Google News gives me this line from their post.
"If this sexy picture of Grady Sizemore doesn't put a pep in your step on this Monday morning.... OMG! Grady Sizemore has a bangin' body!"Seriously Mark... Seriously... Don't look these up man.. Manny Acta.. Don't think about it.. Shield your daughters eyes!
CHOO! MAN DON'T DO IT!
Wait they probably see enough in the clubhouse... Never mind.
I think I've gone on long enough about this.. But to sum it all up.
If you haven't been told by now. I've probably taken this entire thing 1% seriously. To me, this is a non-issue. I'm handling it as a fun item rather than a serious one.
I know that on April 5th, Grady Sizemore will be in centerfield against Chicago and that's all that matters to me. What happened to him sucks, but in a way it's rather humorous for all of us because A) He didn't do anything bad and B) This nekked celebrity thing is almost a common occurrence now a days. Embrace the fact that we've got one and that he isn't a dingus head like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian.
Finally on an ironic note.. The fact that Grady's picture is on the second rotation of stories on Indians.com with the headline including the phrase "Cyber Monday" is totally ironic. Oh how the internet can destroy you.
Tomorrow, we'll get back to talking about baseball..